HOW TO DEAL WITH UNCERTAINTY ?
HOW TO DEAL WITH UNCERTAINTY ?
Life + Mental Health
This year will be remembered! There were the pandemic, the decline in economic activities, the confinement, the reports of sexual assaults, the protests against police brutality and the fight against racism. Not to mention our personal challenges and trials. 2020 has given us no rest. Our mental health has taken a hit and yet we must continue to live and cope with it.
But how do we keep going when everything seems so uncertain?
Life is full of uncertainties and life changes from moment to moment. No one knows what the future holds. Our society does not prepare us for this uncertainty. On the contrary, we are taught to plan and anticipate as much as possible in order to minimize risks and unpredictability. But life has its own ways and we can hardly accept that we’re not in full control of it.
READ : 20 SELF-REFLECTION QUESTIONS FOR A BETTER YOU
Deaths related to the pandemic, or to cancer, like the news of African-American actor Chadwick Boseman’s death that shocked the world, put us in front of this fragility that is life. One day you laugh, one day you cry. One day you live, one day you die, and in between there is life and our choices.
Right now you may be wondering:
How long will I be able to hold on to my savings? – if you have been laid off.
How long before a vaccine is available for Covid-19? – if you are worried about the pandemic.
How long before I can get pregnant? – if you are dealing with infertility, for instance.
How long before I can see my loved ones again? – if you live far away from your family and can’t travel due to the pandemic.
How long before… [ insert your uncertainties ] ?
We tend to worry about our kids, a loved one's health, our finances and the future in general. It’s not always easy to reassure ourselves when our minds are plagued by doubts and worries.
“Wanting to increase certainty decreases tolerance for uncertainty and only increases concerns. On the contrary, increasing your tolerance to uncertainty helps reduce worries.”
How do you deal with uncertainty? By embracing it. Uncertainty is part of life.
Here are 5 ways of coping with uncertainty:
1. Learn to be comfortable with it
Our behaviour and reactions may reflect our intolerance to uncertainty. How do you react when a negative event occurs in your life? It is important to identify our behaviour and increase our tolerance by changing our thoughts, perceptions, and reactions.
Here are some examples of intolerance to uncertainty:
- Challenging decisions you’ve already made because you are not sure they are the best.
- Avoiding doing certain things, like not bringing up a sensitive subject with a friend, because you don’t know how the person will react.
- Partially engaging in a relationship, a job or a project.
2. Be present and grateful to be alive
We face every single day with no guarantees. If you are reading this, you are lucky to be alive. We are all just a phone call away from life changing tragedies. Being alive is all the certainty that you will ever have. So be grateful. Be happy because we never know how much time we have left. Life is for moments because everything else is uncertain. Never give up, never lose hope, always have faith. Being present and positive allows you to cope with uncertainty and anxiety. And if right now you are struggling, know that it will pass. And remember that nothing lasts forever, not even adversities.
3. Never say: “It won’t happen to me”
You can’t always predict the future. Who can really predict life? If everything was always certain, nothing would ever change, uncertainty invites us to possibility. But we can secure certain paramount aspects of life like health, family, retirement plans, insurance policy, and investment. Nevertheless, life does not spare us just because we are doing everything “right”. You can be vegan or have the best financial planner by your side, you will eventually face adversity in your life. It’s part of life. Accept it.
4. Accept change positively
Change can be overwhelming for a lot of people, perhaps even life altering. However, you can never let change affect you critically. Simply take it in your stride and keep moving forward. Always see the positive side of life. This pandemic allowed us to rethink our way of living, to consume less and potentially live more. And to be grateful for the things we have and the loving people surrounding us.
5. Walk by faith
God's ways are higher than ours. Whether you believe in God or another higher being, trust that what He has for you is good. Having faith brings peace. Peace of mind. Having faith gives hope. Hope for better days. Having faith in God and not in our circumstances or experiences along the way is what allows us to face adversity and walk serenely when everything seems dark and wobbly.
Ok I admit - it's easier said than done. But time heals everything. It doesn't matter what life throws in your face and the impact it has on your life. Time has the most amazing ability to heal, and heal the deepest wounds. It also diminishes the most unpleasant memories, which is perhaps why it is said that time is the best healer. Trust in life and God’s timing, and live without the fear of tomorrow.
Shirline is the founder of Black Milk Women. She finds inspiration in every areas of life. Creative, passionate and dreamy ... "Eat Beauty, Live Passionately and Drink Life '' is her everyday #Wordstoliveby.
Like music or romance she is old school she doesn't snap but she tweets.
